how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
this is the best joke ever
haha…fuck you - sincerely every friendzoned guy ever
You wish - sincerely the women who are by no means obligated to sleep with you.
When you fuck something up first thing in the morning
or maybe try some water dumbass
oh NO a GIRL!!!!!! with HAIR in places that HAIR GROWS !!!! AHH!!!!!
when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died
I can’t wait for the day that instead of “It’s late, I have to go.” you will say “It’s late, let’s go to bed.”
this is so cute
more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of meryl streep running through your veins
WAKE UP AMERICA.
THESE ARE ‘WAFFLE FRIES’
THESE ARE POTATO WAFFLES
YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON POTATO WAFFLES AS WELL AS FREE HEALTH SERVICE AND ME. I PITY YOU.
Cheryl just called asking if I’ll babysit the girls tomorrow! I’m so excited, I miss them so much.
I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.